I most definitely will, Sarah

I started playing OFF.

I like telling people really freaky facts and watching their face twist in horror, like how male bees’ testicles explode when they ejaculate and die, and then all the guys swiftly try to protect their crotch

but my favorite reaction of all time, would be in fifth grade when I told this one kid that hiccups are a spasm in your diaphragm 

HE LOOKED SO DISTRESSED BY THIS I THINK HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY

THE WIND JUST BLEW SO HARD INTO MY WINDOW MY FAN FELL DOWN HOLY FUCK

one of my many useless talents is staying perfectly still for long periods of time, so I think one day I’m going to go to an art museum and just sit somewhere, and when someone goes to look at the “art” I’m just going to quickly turn my head and whisper ‘this is not my true form’ and go back to the way I was how great do you think that’d be?

my brother just came into my room to inform me that there is a new episode of Supernatural on.

but I’m only on season 2…

y??

sometimes I really want to be held and kiss and be cute with someone but I don’t want a relationship because my emotions get so out of hand to the point that I obsess over a person, but after a few days of not seeing them I forget how it feels to like them and then the next time we meet it all comes back like a drug addict who got over their addiction relapsing after a year, and then I don’t know how to express anything or be supportive of anyone so then I let it out through violence and emotional strain so basically I’m an abusive person with a lot of emotional problems 

I don’t know why but I really hate it when people say my name

like, it’s fine a few times to get my attention that’s cool, but if someone I don’t like does, or they keep doing it over and over again, I get really annoyed and angry, no stop you are not allowed to say that

and may god have mercy on those who call me by my full name because that is a one way ticket to my hit list my friend

there is nothing worse than going to drink something and forgetting that there’s a straw in it so it just kinda falls into your mouth and then you have this mini heart attack like whaT THE FUCK I STHIS????

YOU GUYS I’M SO UPSET IT WASN’T A TWO DIGET NUMBER AT ALL IT WAS JUST 1

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WASN’T ANY OF THE M I’M GONANA CRY

I’M UP TO 78 I’M GONNA CRY WHY THIS

MY SI STER LET ME USR HER LAPT PTO PLAY OFF BUT I CA N’T REMME MBER THE PASSWORD SHE PUT ON IT, I REME,MBER THE FIRST WORD AND YTHAT THERE ARE TWO NUMBERS AFTERWARD SO I’M LITERALLY GOING THROUGH EVERY TWO DIGET NUMBER I’M ON 42

in seventh grade my class read The Outsiders, but I was absent for like three days when we were watching the movie, and when I came back everyone kept saying do it for johnny over and over and over again and the most inappropriate times and I had no idea why they kept doing it and I got really mad because no one would tell me that it was from the movie

sometimes it bugs me when a series has a really simple name, because I go to look for stuff on it and get a whole bunch of other stuff I don’t care about

like, no, I do not want to look at a million necklaces, 

I want this